Placing Value Where It Wants To Be

Posted September 11, 2008

Last night, we had our confirmation parent meeting. It went well. I was excited about it. We laid out expectations for the year, talked about the curriculum that I am very excited about, invited folks to consider being small group leaders each Wednesday, and went over the confirmation handbook. At times, it might have seemed like drinking from a firehose, as there was lots of information to take in. But, I wanted to be absolutely clear on what confirmation ministry desires to be about, what are the measures of accountability, and the invitation to parents to walk with their child through this confirmation journey.
One of my concerns I continue to see each year I teach confirmation is a diminishing level of parental involvement. This concerns me deeply. When Martin Luther originally wrote the small catechism, he did it as a response to the overwhelming distortion of faith formation among families. Luther sat down and wrote out what the church holds to be true about who it is as a body and why we believe those very things that form us. The intention was for the head of the household (father) to instruct his children in the faith using this small catechism. Hundreds of years later, the modern family relies on the church to offer for them that which they should be empowered to do. The church has become the surrogate parents for youth to learn the faith. But, the church in all of its giftedness and strength, cannot and will not be able to replace the time, attention, and devotion of a loving, concerned, and caring parent. Sometimes, as in my own life’s journey, the church has been there to teach the faith when the parents could not. That’s important too. But, my concern is when I see parents forget that their kids are watching them.
Their kids are watching them to see if this “faith thing” really is true. They want to know if this faith is relevant, can it speak into them, does it have any value of worth at all? Youth today want to know in the sea of luring allegiances, why they should value faith at all. It makes sense, that if their parents are not all that involved within the life of a church community by not really committing to it, their kids will not either. Kids will not understand the importance of learning the faith so that their lives become shaped by it. If parents assume the church, and the church alone is responsible, faith then becomes something associated only with the idea of church, as it is not yoked within the family of origin. The family of origin becomes separate from church, because the onus of faith formation has solely been placed onto the church, and that is where parents can change the behavior.
Parents should ask a vital question: How much value are we as a family going to place on our children’s faith development and formation? Not how much can we, or why should we. But, how much will parents decide to model for their children? If church becomes a priority, faithfully attending worship, serving where the needs are at, maybe joining a small group, parents then become leaders for their children; they become models of behavior they are asking their kids to learn about. Not that parents have to get it “right” or “correct,” but that they take a step out and risk leadership for the sake of their children’s faith. Parents are not alone…we know that. The Holy Spirit as it works, does its job too. But, parents will work in partnership with the Spirit so that faith can grow and produce as Matthew writes, “a hundred fold.”
What will sustain the youth of today as they become the adults of tomorrow when their lives become more difficult, more demanding, and more unknown? What will give them that foundation to stand their lives on so that they are not susceptible to believe in the lies and values of the world? What will be their rock they will cling to when the tragedies of life and chance are right in front of them? If parents take the time to place value where it wants to be so that their kids will value faith, and how God is shaping that for them, parents will have sown that seed of faith into a soil that is being cultivated by a church who helps that seed grow.
My enouragement for parents of confirmation students: please know that your child’s faith is important. Know that you are not alone in this journey. Your influence matters when your child’s faith is growing. You make the difference by how much priority your own faith journey and by how much you emphasize that in your family. I encourage you to make that difference, put down your pride, and come to worship. Be involved. Be men and women of God who will be faithful to the promise you made on behalf of your child the day he/she was baptized. Show them faith is important by placing value in it. Because, that value can last a lifetime.
I am looking forward to a great year, and I look forward to working with you and your children.

Peace,
Pastor Jason